The Fastest Mood Reset: The Miracle of Gratitude

I know, I know. One more conversation about gratitude? I can literally feel you rolling your eyes. But trust me, listen to this one and try it.

When I was at the lowest of the lows with my drinking and my eating disorder, a daily practice of gratitude helped to save my life. I know we hear about it a lot — but it's a powerful tool to shift your day, your perspective, or your outlook.

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Hey guys, Emily here. I wanted to share with you something that has really been transforming the way I experience hard moments in my life. A lot of you guys know that I've been in recovery for a long time. I've been sober for almost 20 years. But I am like such a sensitive and open human being. I definitely am deeply flawed and imperfect.

And I have noticed that my brain's default state is negativity and pessimism. Like I have to constantly be absorbing positive information and uplifting material to stay positive. My brain is inclined toward seeking safety — and all of our brains are actually inclined towards seeking safety, which is often why we don't want to take risks.

But I really believe that some people just have that personality where the glass is more half full. My brain tends toward fear, anxiety, and stress, overthinking.

And this has really been helping me tremendously. I call it abiding in gratitude.

The purpose of this exercise is to catch ourselves when we're feeling really negative and really victimized or really resentful — and to be able to shift ourselves out of that state. And the reason that's important is because we are responsible for our own happiness. I know I can really get stuck in a state of negativity and resentfulness.

A lot of moms carry a trillion hats. Literally a trillion hats. My list of things to do this morning was like 27 things long. It's crazy. You're constantly thinking about who needs to go to the dentist, who needs to go to this appointment, who needs to go to this tutoring session, who needs to go to this sports practice, making sure everyone's where they need to be — not to mention planning and shopping for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and making time for your partner, making time for one-on-one time for your children, making time for your work. And we haven't even talked about work yet. Laundry, dishes, housework. The list literally goes on and on, and it is so easy to be resentful of all of that instead of grateful.

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I'll give you guys an example of when I used this recently, because it helped me so much.

We just came back from our family vacation. We went camping around Maine and it was such a blast. Honestly, the simplicity and nature element of camping — well, it's not simple. It's a lot of work for mom and dad. I have to give Rich credit. He was like all in.

We had just been camping for four days. Every single piece of clothing that we had was filthy and we needed to get our laundry done before moving to our next campsite. So we went to a laundromat in town. The car was completely trashed — which is how it gets on road trips. I had a trunk full of dirty clothes and I sent Rich and the boys to a local park to play for a while.

And I'm in the laundromat and my resentment starts to pile onto me.

Why am I the one doing the laundry? Nobody helped me load the car today. The car is completely trashed. I can't believe we were rushing at the last minute. This is so annoying. It is so hot in here. Of course I don't have money for the vending machine. Let me go find $5 to make quarters. Oh great, there's no machines available. Just some negativity creeping in.

I eventually get all the laundry done. I go back to the car and I'm reminded that the car is trash and I'm feeling so taken advantage of by this point. The reality is my boys are very helpful — they just still need a lot of instruction, and I can get resentful that they're not particularly proactive.

I couldn't get the bag of laundry in the back of the car because it was so disorganized. We were on like day 11 of the road trip. It was so filthy. We had also bought a lot of clothes along the way because it was really cold in Maine — which is exactly why we went. It's so hot in Florida. We hadn't taken a family trip yet and we said, you know what, let's go somewhere where it's chilly and we can camp and enjoy being outside and reset.

So we bought a bunch of sweatpants and sweatshirts. And mudding boots and clamming boots. And none of it was fitting in the trunk anymore.

And I'm like... This is so annoying. Why am I the one sweating my arse off in the laundromat, doing all of this all by myself, cleaning out the car, which is completely trashed. No one in my house or family appreciates me. And I just find myself going down this rabbit hole of resentfulness.

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And then I remembered: we attract what we are.

If I was going to stay in this state of negativity, I was going to attract and feel more and more and more negativity as the days and the rest of our trip went on. And also, that discomfort inside of my body — that anger — is such a frequency emotion that I needed to just let it pass right through me and shift to a state where I felt better. Because I wanted to feel better. I wanted to go back to having a blast.

So I shifted to a practice I'm calling abiding in gratitude.

I say abiding because I was doing it consistently throughout the day, every day — trying to find a hundred things to say thank you for. But I used it in this specific moment to try to shift my mood.

Thank you so much that we have the financial security to go into a Target and buy all of these sweatshirts and all of these sweatpants. Thank you so much for the convenience of that Target. Thank you so much for the convenience of this laundromat. Thank you so much that I was able to find the money and the coins that I needed. Thank you so much that the machines opened up for me. Thank you so much that Rich is right now playing baseball and football with the boys in a field right nearby, which they absolutely love. It's probably their favorite thing in the world.

Thank you so much for the s'mores and the crusty dried up marshmallow on these sweatpants and the chocolate and these filthy socks and the holes in these socks — because my boys are so healthy and so active that they're constantly covered in dirt and getting holes in their brand new socks. Thank you so much for the memories that we've made around these fires. Thank you that my new sweatpants smelled like bacon because we cooked bacon over the fire this morning.

Thank you so much for this incredible family time that we have had.

Finding every single thing I could possibly be thankful for. And you will feel the energy in your body begin to shift. We attract what we are. We become what we are.

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A lot of the times the word gratitude is tossed around — but really what it means is finding a place of deep thankfulness inside of our bodies where we can truly feel thankful and shift the way our body feels in that exact moment.

It's such a powerful tool. I would really encourage you guys to try to abide in thankfulness. Which is much harder. I kind of go in and out of that practice on the days that I remember to do it — on the days that I remember to say thank you the moment my eyes wake up, because every day that we wake up is an absolute miracle. Every day that we get to be alive is an absolute miracle.

Thank you so much for this day. Thank you that I am alive. That my heart is beating all on its own. That I can get up and walk out of this bed and go make myself a delicious cup of coffee.

When you can abide in that gratitude — abide in that deep thankfulness — the moment you wake up, you will see how it changes everything.

Try it. Share it with a friend if this helps you — it means the world.