Is it just me or is bedtime the hardest?
My boys always get their 17th burst of energy the second I tell them it's time to brush teeth and read books.
Tonight, I got sidetracked and replied to a client email instead of staying involved.
The next thing you know, they were playing some manic (loud) game of throwing a fidget as high in the air as they could and wrestling and shoving each other to catch it. Good times.
Immediately no. Immediately no. This was my body's internal annoyed response.
I noticed it. And remembered I don't want to end the day yelling. I reached for a different response- one that always works for me...
"Can I play?" I asked. They looked up, surprised and so happy. "We're playing this really fun catching game mommy!"
"Ok" I said. "5 more minutes for me to beat both of you then we brush teeth. Deal?" They both agreed, laughing at my lame attempt to trash talk.
5 more minutes and a lot of laughter later, I easily herded them to the bathroom, where we brushed teeth, snuggled in bed to read books, and went to bed happy.
Why does this work?
Whenever I can play and get on their level, their cooperation is almost guaranteed. They begin to orbit me again, instead of me begging for their cooperation. I enter their world, instead of yelling for their attention, and they return to orbiting their mother instead of each other. It's the most natural thing in the world. It's energetics, and attunement. Our kids desperately want to have fun with us. They want us to see them and enter their world. Their world should be play, as much as possible.
This has taken a lot of consciousness on my part. A lot of intention and practice — of being the fun mom — on purpose. Taking the action of being the fun mom even when I don't feel like it, and letting my own body's genuine enjoyment take over, because I deserve that happiness and connection.
Shouldn't everyone's?